24 and counting....

And no i don't mean 24 kids.....that is crazy! I am 24 weeks, so that means one more month and I am into my third trimester. Wow, time flies!!!!! Being 24 weeks pregnant apparently also means more difficulty sleeping, really bad heart burn, and the official start of having to wear maternity pants. I am proud to say I have been wearing my own pants up until now, thanks to target's belly band. But now like overight, my pants just won't fit over my hips....bummer:( On the upside, I still have a lot of energy which has been nice since I am home during the week with hunterbear. I also have been feeling baby girl/boy move every day. The doctor had warned me that I would not feel this baby kick as much because my placenta is anterior (sorry if some of you think this is tmi), but fortunately or unfortunately, this little one kicks strong and often enough for me to feel him or her.

On another note, my mother-in-law and I painted our kitchen this past weekend. After throwing a dramatic fit (i can blame that on pregnancy hormones, right?) about picking the entirely wrong shade of green, I am actually starting to really like it.

I wanted sage green, but for some reason didn't realize this

green actually has some brown in it. Instead I picked an all-out green color for our kitchen. It really brightens the room, and looks great next to our stone tiles above the counter.

Well, that's all for now. My family comes to visit in 7 days!!! We cannot wait. Hopefully, my mom can help me finish the baby's room, and then I will post some pictures. I am very excited about how it is turning out. Hunter didn't have a real nursery, so it is very fun to be able to be creative and put together a cute room just for this little one!

Names....

Ok, so without giving much away, I just have to share my frustration with all of you. Choosing a name for this precious new babe is such an honor, but oh boy what a headache. Paul and I just can't decide on names. We ( Ok, I mean I) have changed our minds like 50 billion times (and i am only 24 weeks).

I am so glad we did not find out the sex of the baby, but that just makes this name picking even more challenging because we need to pick two (first and middle names) that we both love. That is my one requirement, we BOTH much like the name. It would be easy for me to just convince Paul of basically any name I want, but that's no fun. I really want him to like it. So do you see my dilamna?

Please pray that we can choose the right name. We want a unique, but not wierd name (does that make sense)...kind of like hunter. Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comment box..i am always open to suggestions. And remember we need a boy and girl's name. I know whatever name we choose will be the right one, i just wish i knew what that was. But in just 16 more weeks, we will have a name (hopefully) and a baby!!!! And we ARE SO EXCITED!!!!

Ok so far, I have not made good on my promise to update this every week. I think I have 'placenta brain' because i have been quite out of it lately. Anyway, this past month has been busy setting up the nursery (pictures to come), decorating our house for Christmas, and finally trying to figure out what in the heck is going on with our Hunter bear (more on that in a second).

I also forgot to post my thanksgiving thoughts, so I will now. We spent the holidays with Paul's mom, which was so low key, but yet very relaxing. We are so blessed to have Laura in our lives. She keeps me sane most of the time, and although I missed my family like crazy, it has been nice to be able to celebrate holidays in Iowa and develop our own family traditions. Because this thanksgiving season was much more quiet than usual, I had a lot more time to reflect on how blessed I really am. I feel so honored to be carrying this new baby inside, which so far has a complete bill of health. I am so thankful for my family in MD. No matter how far away I may live, their support is felt across the country. My youngest sister has even agreed to come stay with us for a month to help with our new baby....Wow, what an amazing gift!

As my new job, I run into a lot of teen mom's whose situation did not turn out anywhere close to the way my story has. I credit this to my extended family, but most importantly to Paul who has been by my side from day one. He has loved me unconditionally despite my ups and downs (and let me tell you, there have been plenty of ups and downs esp these past few months. I am so fortunate to have such an amazing husband. I am so thankful for his love!!And finally, I am so so thankful for my little bugger. Hunter has been the one person who never fails to make me laugh when I need it the most. The smallest thing like a hug to say good morning and a tiny whisper of I love you mom more than all the.... has made me feel like the luckiest girl alive.

Hunter is growing so fast, and cannot wait to be a big brother. He starts every morning by kissing the baby and saying good morning baby!!! Fortunately, H has not gotten the flu this season, which I was worried about since I work around kids with the flu all day. However, Hunter has been battling some breathing issues. He has always had this cough and runny nose, but we just chalked it up to minor seasonal allergies, and thats it. Then one night a month ago he woke up wheezing and couldn't catch his breath. Well, he landed in the ER and recieved his first breathing treatment. They labeled it reactive airway, and ent us on our way with our own handy dandy inhaler.

Well, the wheezing subsided, but the coughing continued and I thought got worse. I decided because I see too many kids at my job with asthma that gets so bad, I was not going to sit on this. So I made an appt with the best pediatric allergist/astham dr in town, and a month later they were able to fit us in. At the appt, Dr. Coleman told us he definitely still sounds minorly wheezy, which could mean he has tendencies towards asthma. So after a chest xray, and a series of allergy tesrs, we learned that our little man is severly allergic to basically everything outside....off the charts allergic to outside molds, trees, and grass! Fortunately, he has no known allergies to foods as of now, and hopefully he will not grow into any. It feels good to have an answer, but kind of scary to know that his allergies may have caused his breathing problems a month ago. One minute he was fine, and then one minute he had gone into resp distress. Anyway, other than that he is doing great. His allergies really don't seem to slow him down, and my goal is to continue to stay on top of it and pray that he outgrows them. I am determined to keep him out of the er, and he is determined to make sure I can keep up with him!!! Gotta love my lil guy.

IT'S A.......

We had our 20 week ultrasound today, and we are so excited to share a few things about our new little one.

It's A....

beautiful healthy baby

feisty little one that didn't stop moving one bit for the ultra sound tech

baby that has a profile shot that actually resembles his /her big brother....little button nose, tear drop chin, and small overbite

baby with a heart rate in the 140's

little one with two hands that like to play peek-a-boo and two legs that enjoy kicking mamma

baby that has a mom, dad, and big brother who are SO EXCITED to meet him/her

Oh yeah and finally...it's a

SURPRISE!!!

**That's right, we decided to not find out whether our babe is a boy or girl....bc truthfully it doesn't matter! What matters is that our baby is healthy and happy. Keep checking back for continued updates of our family and our life in Iowa***

A New Chapter

And so the blogging begins again....I have really missed blogging because it gave me a chance to update friends and family on my own family and i also was able to use it as a release for what was on my mind. I am making my new year's resolution ( I know its early) to update my blog at least once a week. It really was very therapeutic for me. For those that don't know I also authored another blog about my uncle John, 'the miracle man'. You can read his story at johnhannan.blogspot.com.

Now on to the update. I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with our second child. If you have read my blog before, you know I had a miscarriage in the winter of 2009. I know many people that have lost an unborn baby, and I have to say that was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. However, thanks to days and days of prayers and never ending support from my family and friends, I was able to survive this past year ( i am not being dramatic...there really were days where i felt so lost and did not know what my purpose was). I truly believe God used my experience with my miscarriage to prepare Paul and my heart for the joy of carrying our new baby this time around. We have this new new found appreciation for this life growing inside of me....which i feel like we took advantage of the first time around. I was reminded how precious life is and how I am not in control.

As I look back on the timing of my last pregnancy versus this one, the timing is completely perfect right now....I couldn't have planned it better. We bought our first house in August, Paul got a promotion this fall, I took a new job working at our local children's hospital, Hunter is a whole year older and is able to understand what it means to be a big brother so much more than last year. He can not wait:)

We have our 20 week ultrasound this Tuesday. I would ask anyone who reads this to please pray that we get a good report. I have been rightfully very anxious during this pregnancy, and I hope after we are able to see our little one and hear that he or she is healthy that I will be able to breath easy.

Happy Birthday Hunterbear!

My baby turns 4 today!!!! I feel like such a dork because I was kind of sad this morning because he is growing up too fast. Here is my tribute to my boy:

Hunterbear came into our lives on April 2, 2005 at a time when both Paul and I truly needed a miracle to turn our lives around. Although, he was unexpected, he has turned into the best 'surprise' in my life. He is my whole world. Being his mom is truly one of the biggest honor. He is such a spunky, funny, handsome, athletic, gentle, and sensitive little boy. For being only four, he has such a big heart. He starts every morning telling Paul and I that he loves us more than....(today it was all the pizza's in the world). And we love him right back. He makes my world complete, and I couldn't imagine a more awesome calling than being his mom. Happy 4th baby...now stop growing!!!

Life is good

Hunterbear is MUCH better today! Yesterday, he managed to keep all of his food down, and he even requested to play outside with the neighbors. We had such a good day. It was so nice to see our little bugger back to his old self. He definitely got more wiped out than usual, but overall he was feeling much better. That's not to say every now and then he cries out saying his 'tummy hurts', but I secretly think he just wants me to hold and love him.....and I have absolutely no problem with this. The best part of our night was that we could spend ALL day outdoors because of this most recent beautiful weather. We ended the night with a bond fire with the neighbors.....God, life sure it good!

Please pray

Well, my baby is still sick. He threw up again last night, and has just been completely wiped out. Please pray we do not need to go back to the ER. I thought my nursing knowledge would make me more prepared for situations like this, but I think it makes me more scared because I know the dangers of things like dehydration in children. I am doing my best to rehydrate him, but he does not look at me as a nurse, he sees me as mom and right now he doe not want to listen to me. Ahhhh Please pray pray that my baby gets over this.

I have to admit this whole sick stage has really made me miss my high maintenance child. Although, I love my new cuddly boy, I feel so helpless and that is not a good feeling for any parent. Five days of quiet is more than enough for me. I want him back to running around and making me laugh with his hysterical songs and stories that he makes up. I want him back to running around outside with the neighbors....especially because we finally have BEAUTIFUL weather!

I'll keep everyone updated, hopefully from home!

And Life continues

Sorry for the lack of updates, but we started that original blog to update family and friends on my pregnancy, but since my miscarriage occurred it has been hard to come back to blogging. I have been fortunate enough to be able to keep a blog about my uncle John's journey (johnhannan.blogspot.com) , so this has allowed me to keep my 'blogging skills' up to par, so to speak.

Anyways, I have decided to continue my original blog, because even though I am no longer pregnant, our life as continued. And my little Hunterbear has kept us more than busy this past month. And what better time to start blogging then when something bad happens....

Starting this past Saturday, Hunter was complaining of a stomach ache. Being the great mom that I am, I thought he was just trying to get out of dinner that his Grandma had made for all of us. Well, he proved me wrong, and threw up quite a lot that night. This 'sick spell' continued into Sunday morning. I was sure he just had a 24 hour bug of some sort. Monday came around, and he had been acting fine all Sunday night and all Monday morning, so I decided he was fine for me to go to work, but not well enough to go to day care. Fortunately, we have amazing friends and one of our friends offered to come sit with Hunter while we both went to work. Imagine my guilt, when I came home from work to find a weak, clingy, sick little boy. PJ said he did not throw up at all, and had been acting fine all day until 20 minutes before i walked in. Hunter was just not himself.

When Paul got home, we decided to keep him home another day just to 'watch him'. Just watching him turned into a trip to the ER the very next day. Hunter spent the whole night throwing up and crying...poor little guy! So Tuesday came around, and Paul had planned on taking him to the doctor's that day. I, unfortunately, was at work because I am still on orientation. I called and Hunter was sound asleep at 8:00am, after waking up at 6. I know he was wiped out from being sick, but that didnt seem right. I called the doctors and they told me to just have Hunter brought to the ER. Thank God, I worked right upstairs. So Paul brought him and I met them at the ER. At first, Hunter was acting fine so they just started giving him oral fluids and again just watched him as he lay there sipping on juice and watching cartoons. I went back upstairs to get some work done, and before I knew it Paul called and told me he threw everything up, and they were putting in an IV....ahhhh

They took his blood and it turned out, he was EXTREMELY dehydrated. Even as a nurse, it killed me to have to watch my baby go through having an IV. So 650 cc's of fluid and 5 hours later, they sent him home. Well, I am very happy they did not have to admit us, but I am not so happy that my poor llittle bugger is still sick. OK I know that was a lot of detail, but I just had to get it all out because Oh my what a day! Currently as I write this, he is lying on my lap resting after another trip to the bathroom to puke.

Please pray that he can get over this bug, and be back to his normal entertaining self! We sure do miss our little Feisty guy.

Beside this most recent issue with our little guy, we are doing well. Thanks again for all the outpouring of love after my miscarriage.

Be sure to check back for updates.

A hard day....

Today has been one of the hardest days of my life. I am choosing to share my experience so that those who are not with me will know what happened, and more importantly will know that I will be fine....we will all be fine in time! 

I woke up with mixed emotions because I was excited to be going to the doctors to hear our baby's heart beat, but I also had a bad feeling that something was wrong. I have been 'blessed' with a very easy first trimester, or so I thought. I had only experienced fatigue and cramps here and there. Although, most people would say I am lucky and should just be thankful that I have not been experiencing the normal pregnancy symptoms, but I knew something was not right. So, I went to the doctors, and after not being able to find the heart beat (with two different dopplers), she sent me to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech immediately found the baby.....no heart beat, and the baby only measured 6 weeks (I am supposed to be 10 weeks). 

My heart dropped, and the tears came pouring out. I was shocked, angry, upset, scared, but mostly confused. How could this happened to me? Did I do something wrong? Will we be able to have other children? I then went next door and met with the midwife, who assured me it was 'not my fault' and there was nothing I could have done to prevent this. Surprisingly, that was relieving to hear. 

Paul and I are upset, as we wanted this baby so much. Our experience with Hunter was so different, as we were not expecting him. This baby was expected and already loved so much by both us and his/her big brother. 

We know that everything happens for a reason, and as Hunter so poignantly said ' maybe Jesus took the baby to make him healthy'. I think Hunterbear is right. Our baby was not going to be able to survive the pregnancy, and we trust that God knows what is best. 

Please pray for Hunter. I didnt think he would understand what happened, but we actually shared a good cry together...gotta love my sensitive boy! He wanted to badly to be a big brother. Please pray for Paul and me that we can lean on each other through this tough time, and trust that what ever is meant to be will be.....thank-you to those of you who have already reached out to us. We love all of you.

New Jobs

Paul got a promotion today! He is now a 'team lead' which basically means he gets all of those angry calls when customers want to talk to the supervisor! If anyone can handle angry people, he can. He is also in charge of helping his other team members with any issues that may arise.  I am so proud of him, and so glad his hard work has paid off and was noticed by his boss! The best news is that he will finally have a regular work schedule, Monday through Friday 8-430. This is the first time since we moved to Iowa that he will be home in time for dinner....gotta love that!  

I also just got offered a job as a nurse on a telemetry floor assuming that i pass my boards at the end of the month. Wish me luck!!! I am so so nervous. This is not an area that I thought I would go into, but I currently work on the floor as a nurse's aid, and I absolutely love the staff and my boss. I also know it will be a great experience because I will learn so much. I plan on staying here for at least a year or two and then who knows....