I actually have an excuse...or at least I like to tell myself that

....and his name is jax. Can I be honest? I used to think I was just a super mom...signing my kids up for all these activities, taking time to get on the floor and play, keeping my house clean, cooking home cooked meals, and still having energy at the end of the day. The truth is, I was and am Not a super mom, I was just blessed with some really easy kids.

Hands down, jax has challenged me the most of all of my kids. I know he looks so innocent and cute in this picture, but what you don't see it me dangling a cracker above my head as I attempt to get him to stop screaming and 'half-smile' for the two seconds it takes to snap this picture. Meanwhile that is not a loving hug, that is a death grip to his sister has employed to get the poor child to sit still. 

He has been the most difficult to figure out,to calm, and to 'dare I say...enjoy'. Don't get me wrong, I am truly and undoubtedly head over heels in love, but because of him I know I can go for three days with less than 4 hours of sleep and SURVIVE; because of him i have finally baby proofed my house (isn't that funny that it was only necessary after three kids),and because of him I now have very different priotrities like going to the gym and having a clean house will happen when and OnLY when I can do so without going insane. He has taught me patience, self discipline, and unconditional love. The funny thing is, a few weeks ago he had a fever for 3 days straight and with that he turned into this incredibly cuddly and mellow 10month old, which for anyone who knows jax, this is so not typical! I have to admit despite all the sleepless nights and the constant vigilante he has caused me to have and to be, I missed my old Jackson.  I love love love my crazy, busy babe who is now 11 months old and walking....and will be running any day now. He has learned to give kisses, enjoys playing and eating ALL things, puckers his lips when asked to do his 'funny face', actively plays with his siblings, loves to play hide and seek and throw balls, and is still working on sleeping through the night (ummm yeah this is still a major issue with MR. JaX)

He has changed my whole views of parenting, and I am so grateful that God entrusted his life to me. He is mine forever, and forever I will move forward as a mom in a very different way than I have been doing for the last 6 years before he came a long. Every kid is different, and every day will bring new challenges.

I have a lot on my heart and a lot on my mind. I will continue to use my blog as a source of encouragement for those that read, but also a source of therapy for me as I write. Blog friends, I surely have missed you.

Please if you have stumbled across this blog for the first time or are a returning reader, please take a minute to pray for sweet baby Celia. Her mom is my best friend's little sister. I was just blessed to spend the weekend with Julya and Celia (while she was still roasting in side mama). She was born with an anticipated issue known as Gastroschisis, but is experiencing unforseen and life threatening complications as a result. Her health lays in God's hands, and we are all praying for a miracle. Will you please join us in prayer and visit her blog with some encouraging words for Julya and her husband Alex.