I actually have an excuse...or at least I like to tell myself that

....and his name is jax. Can I be honest? I used to think I was just a super mom...signing my kids up for all these activities, taking time to get on the floor and play, keeping my house clean, cooking home cooked meals, and still having energy at the end of the day. The truth is, I was and am Not a super mom, I was just blessed with some really easy kids.

Hands down, jax has challenged me the most of all of my kids. I know he looks so innocent and cute in this picture, but what you don't see it me dangling a cracker above my head as I attempt to get him to stop screaming and 'half-smile' for the two seconds it takes to snap this picture. Meanwhile that is not a loving hug, that is a death grip to his sister has employed to get the poor child to sit still. 

He has been the most difficult to figure out,to calm, and to 'dare I say...enjoy'. Don't get me wrong, I am truly and undoubtedly head over heels in love, but because of him I know I can go for three days with less than 4 hours of sleep and SURVIVE; because of him i have finally baby proofed my house (isn't that funny that it was only necessary after three kids),and because of him I now have very different priotrities like going to the gym and having a clean house will happen when and OnLY when I can do so without going insane. He has taught me patience, self discipline, and unconditional love. The funny thing is, a few weeks ago he had a fever for 3 days straight and with that he turned into this incredibly cuddly and mellow 10month old, which for anyone who knows jax, this is so not typical! I have to admit despite all the sleepless nights and the constant vigilante he has caused me to have and to be, I missed my old Jackson.  I love love love my crazy, busy babe who is now 11 months old and walking....and will be running any day now. He has learned to give kisses, enjoys playing and eating ALL things, puckers his lips when asked to do his 'funny face', actively plays with his siblings, loves to play hide and seek and throw balls, and is still working on sleeping through the night (ummm yeah this is still a major issue with MR. JaX)

He has changed my whole views of parenting, and I am so grateful that God entrusted his life to me. He is mine forever, and forever I will move forward as a mom in a very different way than I have been doing for the last 6 years before he came a long. Every kid is different, and every day will bring new challenges.

I have a lot on my heart and a lot on my mind. I will continue to use my blog as a source of encouragement for those that read, but also a source of therapy for me as I write. Blog friends, I surely have missed you.

Please if you have stumbled across this blog for the first time or are a returning reader, please take a minute to pray for sweet baby Celia. Her mom is my best friend's little sister. I was just blessed to spend the weekend with Julya and Celia (while she was still roasting in side mama). She was born with an anticipated issue known as Gastroschisis, but is experiencing unforseen and life threatening complications as a result. Her health lays in God's hands, and we are all praying for a miracle. Will you please join us in prayer and visit her blog with some encouraging words for Julya and her husband Alex.

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5 months

As my lovely husband pointed out......jax won't be five months forever, so I better post my update soon.

Can I be honest? One minute, I feel so head over heels in love with this little guy, and then the sun goes down and he frustrates me to no end. He is such a smiley, active little boy during the day, but we are really struggling to get him to sleep through the night....or even just a stretch longer than 3 hours. I have talked to other parents, and apparently this is not all that uncommon to be 5 months and still get up in the middle of the night. Paul and I, however, are not used to this because our other two kids slept through the night starting at 8 weeks and never looked back.

As a vetran mom, I am so mad at myself for my part in his bad sleeping habits. You would think after successfully 'sleep training' my other two that I would surely be a pro.....well, think again! I am too embarrassed to divulge where he sleeps, so we won't go there. I wanted Jackson in our room for at least 4 months, and now that I am finally ready for him to move to his own room he WON"T GO. I am open to suggestions, but let me warn you I have tried it ALL.

And so despite being completely and utterly sleep deprived, we continue to enjoy this dimpled, big eyed, giggly little baby boy:)

4 month Stats

Jackson had his 4 month appointment today and right from the doctor's mouth...

'Jax is perfect'......Well, we sure think so. He are his stats:

weight: 12 lb 3oz (14%)

height: 62.2 cm (37%)

Newest accomplishments: Jax has found his feet, learned to grab for things, learned to roll from his tummy to his back, and surprised us all by rolling ONE TIME from his back to his tummy. He loves to cooo, smile, and belly laugh.

Jackson's Must Have: BLUE BINKY (you are the only one of my kids who loves their binky)

Most Striking Features: Funky hair and big blue eyes

Everyone that meets Jackson is so surprised to learn he is 4 months because he is so tiny, but within minutes they are blown away by his charm, his alertness, and his strength. He is already 'all-boy' and loves to play rough. My favorite thing to do with him is let him sit on my shoulder and count to three then while supporting his head, I let him swing down to the ground. I have never heard a baby laugh so hard! I am loving that his personality is starting to shine through. We just grow more in love with him every day!

A day in the life

The other day, I actually caught myself laughing out loud because of how crazy busy my life has become with three kids....a good kind of crazy, don't get me wrong.....definitely still CRAZY! I just had to record down our day so that one day when my kids are teenagers and driving me 'real-life' crazy then I can look back, smile, and say 'Oh wow, if I can handle what I handled back when they were little, I can handle ANYTHING'. And so here you have it...a day in the life of ME....

3:30am: wake up and give Jax his pacifier hoping for at least one more hour of sleep

4:30am: Thank-you Jax...one hour down and now I am ready to feed you...in bed of coarse

5:30 am: send H back to bed.....way too early budd

7:00am Wake up, get dressed, make bed, start coffee, and feed jax, get Kinley from bed

7:30 am COFFEE, pack Hunter's lunch, start breakfast, change diapers and feed kids

8:30 am Send H off to school, Dress and groom Kinley and dress Jax (not much grooming needed at this age...thank GOD)

9:00 am PUMP and catch up on emails while Kinley watches Dora or reads books (sorry for TMI, but I have actually been asked when do I find time to pump and the answer is, I have to schedule it in to my morning)

9: 30ish, pack kids, grab a quick breakfast (cheese and peanutbutter toast or protein shake) and head to the Gym

10:00- 1130am Feed Jax, work out, and shower or somedays we just go run errands!

1200pm Make lunch, load dishes, and clean kitchen while Jax plays in his seat and Kinley eats.

1230-100pm Play, color, read books

1:00- 3:00pm Floor time with Jax, Catch up on laundry, eat lunch if I could not eat earlier, Feed Jax, put jax down for nap and either make necessary phone calls, shower if I was unable to earlier, or catch a quick nap, as well.

3:00pm Change Kinley, and spend some time cuddling until she is fully awake and not grumpy. Play some more with my babies

4:00PM H gets home from school. Our routine is homework and snack first thing. This works well because part of his nightly HW is to read a book, so we all cuddle up and he reads it aloud while I feed Jax.

445-5:30pm: play until daddy gets home

5:30pm Quick kiss hello to my husband before the kids are demanding his full attention. I run upstairs to make dinner while Paul entertains kids

6-730pm: Set the table, Prayers, Dinner, clean up, baths, pj's on, and teeth brushed. Paul usually rocks Kinley to bed while I read and chat with Hunter.

730-8:00pm: Tell Hunter to go to bed att least 3 more times

8:00pm: feed jax and put him to bed

8-11:00pm. Catch up with Paul about our days, watch TV together or read while he does homework, blog, and plan my day tomorrow. Feed Jax again if he is still awake otherwise PJ's on and lights out for me so I can hopefully get up and do it all again.

And so here you have it....of coarse not everyday runs this smooth. But for the most part, we have a pretty good routine around here. The days also include some tears, tantrums, diaper blow outs...you know the usual stuff! All in all, I am so thankful for this life....my life, and I wouldn't change a thing.

At the end of the day, every sleepless night and stressful moment is all embraces because I get the privilege of being the mommy to these three precious and wonderful kids