At the core

Over the last few years, I have opened my heart and my home to my readers through this blog. , I have used the blog mostly for updates on my kids, but I also like to use my blog to send messages when I see them fit or to simply share what is heavy on my heart.

I have been married for only two years, so I know I am no expert nor do I do want to pretend to be when it comes to marriages. The best I can do is share my own experience with the hopes that others will be able to relate. So with my husband's blessing, I will be sharing some of our our experiences through this blog as I see fit in the hopes that we can be lifted up in prayer from our readers, but also maybe so we can reach out to other married couples who share in this journey.

The quality about my husband that I love the most, yet causes a lot of frustration is his ability to not worry about tomorrow. I used to think he just didn't care....but the longer we have been together, the more I realized that it is not that he doesn't care, but that he chooses not to worry about what tomorrow will bring. He truly focusses all his time and energy on today, and today alone.

Now, for those that know me understand that this is far from opposite of the way I look at life. I spend so much of today worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Some days, I have to deliberately remind myself to breathe and just enjoy the little things that are in front of me. Now, as you can imagine this makes for an interesting marriage, but as I am trying to recognize, this also makes us work so well.

I cannot help but imagine if Paul was the type of person sometimes I 'claim' I want...someone who plans and someone who is serious, well then my life would in one word be BORING. I say I want Paul to plan, but the truth even though I LOVE planning, I love even more planning MY way. I can see it now...all the arguments if Paul tried to plan a family day or plan a dinner...Really, I can see it so clearly. I already know whatever he planned would not be what I had imagined....

.....so what is my point?

Well, my point is that maybe I should stop trying to make Paul into something that he is not because the truth of the matter is that the way he is allows me to be who I am. I love to plan things to a tee, and without such a laid back husband I would have to step aside and share in the planning process....and that is just not something I think I would be good at.

My point is not to publicize our strengths and weaknesses, but instead point out that what may look like a weakness in your spouse may in fact be the rock that hold your marriage together.

So I challenge all you married couples or soon to be married couples to look at your spouse and focus on who He or She really is, NOT who you want them to be. This can be difficult to do some days, but once you master this focus on what it is about that person that makes your relationship work. When we stop focussing on what we perceive as a flaw, then this trait is allowed to shine through your relationship and strengthen it to the core:)