4 month Stats

Jackson had his 4 month appointment today and right from the doctor's mouth...

'Jax is perfect'......Well, we sure think so. He are his stats:

weight: 12 lb 3oz (14%)

height: 62.2 cm (37%)

Newest accomplishments: Jax has found his feet, learned to grab for things, learned to roll from his tummy to his back, and surprised us all by rolling ONE TIME from his back to his tummy. He loves to cooo, smile, and belly laugh.

Jackson's Must Have: BLUE BINKY (you are the only one of my kids who loves their binky)

Most Striking Features: Funky hair and big blue eyes

Everyone that meets Jackson is so surprised to learn he is 4 months because he is so tiny, but within minutes they are blown away by his charm, his alertness, and his strength. He is already 'all-boy' and loves to play rough. My favorite thing to do with him is let him sit on my shoulder and count to three then while supporting his head, I let him swing down to the ground. I have never heard a baby laugh so hard! I am loving that his personality is starting to shine through. We just grow more in love with him every day!

A day in the life

The other day, I actually caught myself laughing out loud because of how crazy busy my life has become with three kids....a good kind of crazy, don't get me wrong.....definitely still CRAZY! I just had to record down our day so that one day when my kids are teenagers and driving me 'real-life' crazy then I can look back, smile, and say 'Oh wow, if I can handle what I handled back when they were little, I can handle ANYTHING'. And so here you have it...a day in the life of ME....

3:30am: wake up and give Jax his pacifier hoping for at least one more hour of sleep

4:30am: Thank-you Jax...one hour down and now I am ready to feed you...in bed of coarse

5:30 am: send H back to bed.....way too early budd

7:00am Wake up, get dressed, make bed, start coffee, and feed jax, get Kinley from bed

7:30 am COFFEE, pack Hunter's lunch, start breakfast, change diapers and feed kids

8:30 am Send H off to school, Dress and groom Kinley and dress Jax (not much grooming needed at this age...thank GOD)

9:00 am PUMP and catch up on emails while Kinley watches Dora or reads books (sorry for TMI, but I have actually been asked when do I find time to pump and the answer is, I have to schedule it in to my morning)

9: 30ish, pack kids, grab a quick breakfast (cheese and peanutbutter toast or protein shake) and head to the Gym

10:00- 1130am Feed Jax, work out, and shower or somedays we just go run errands!

1200pm Make lunch, load dishes, and clean kitchen while Jax plays in his seat and Kinley eats.

1230-100pm Play, color, read books

1:00- 3:00pm Floor time with Jax, Catch up on laundry, eat lunch if I could not eat earlier, Feed Jax, put jax down for nap and either make necessary phone calls, shower if I was unable to earlier, or catch a quick nap, as well.

3:00pm Change Kinley, and spend some time cuddling until she is fully awake and not grumpy. Play some more with my babies

4:00PM H gets home from school. Our routine is homework and snack first thing. This works well because part of his nightly HW is to read a book, so we all cuddle up and he reads it aloud while I feed Jax.

445-5:30pm: play until daddy gets home

5:30pm Quick kiss hello to my husband before the kids are demanding his full attention. I run upstairs to make dinner while Paul entertains kids

6-730pm: Set the table, Prayers, Dinner, clean up, baths, pj's on, and teeth brushed. Paul usually rocks Kinley to bed while I read and chat with Hunter.

730-8:00pm: Tell Hunter to go to bed att least 3 more times

8:00pm: feed jax and put him to bed

8-11:00pm. Catch up with Paul about our days, watch TV together or read while he does homework, blog, and plan my day tomorrow. Feed Jax again if he is still awake otherwise PJ's on and lights out for me so I can hopefully get up and do it all again.

And so here you have it....of coarse not everyday runs this smooth. But for the most part, we have a pretty good routine around here. The days also include some tears, tantrums, diaper blow outs...you know the usual stuff! All in all, I am so thankful for this life....my life, and I wouldn't change a thing.

At the end of the day, every sleepless night and stressful moment is all embraces because I get the privilege of being the mommy to these three precious and wonderful kids

the real meaning of Christmas

To Believe or not.....in Santa that is! I always knew without a doubt I would teach my children about Jesus, but I never knew I would struggle so much about whether or not I wanted my kids to believe in Santa. I was raised believing in Santa Clause (in fact I believed until 6th grade....thank-you very much Pop). I just assumed I would not only support my kids believing in Santa, but I would help influence their belief (you know, putting foot prints in the flour/ fake snow by the fire place, taking bites out of the cookies and carrots left for Santa and the reign deer, and of coarse writing the annual letter to my kids).

Well, I still do all of the above.....but what I do not do is initiate daily conversations about Santa. Over the last year or so, my faith in God has grown so much. As it has grown, my biggest desire has been to share my faith and share my love for God with my own children. So as this Christmas season snuck up on me, I have really dealt with some guilt about playing up Santa Clause.

The reason I still do go along with the whole 'Santa Tradition' is because it makes my children giddy with delight every time his name is mentioned, but also because it helps keep me humble. I buy gifts simply because I want my kids to be happy, not so that I can enjoy the thanks that I get from my kids knowing I spent hours finding the right gift. It is not about me. Christmas morning is about my kids, and about seeing their eyes light up at their gifts. Christmas season is about Christ, and about learning his desire for all of us in our own life. He was born for one reason and one reason only.....for all of us! He was born for us, now we need to live for him. That is what I aim to teach my kids this Christmas season. I think believing in Santa is most kids' first exposure to having faith. Faith is believing in something that you can't see. Anytime my oldest starts asking detailed questions about Santa,, I always response with ' well, what do you believe?" or "if you believe than you have to trust that it will all work out". My biggest struggle is that if and when my kids ( I sense the time is coming soon for my oldest) do stop believing in Santa will they also stop believing in God. Because Santa and Jesus come teamed up during Christmas, does this mean in a child's mind when one is not real, then the other is also not real? I would love any advice or helpful tips on how you moms have handled this with your own kids. I think the only thing I can really do is continue to teach my kids about God and all that is good even after the Christmas season.

In the meantime, if we enjoy some stories about Santa and some fun holiday traditions, I know I have still done my part and His will. I hope in the busyness of the holiday season, you can keep the Heart of Christmas alive in your homes. Merry Christmas to all of you and God bless you and your families this new year:)

Jackson- 3 months

I am going to start writing monthly letters to Jax so that I can have a way to update all of you, but also to record his first year to someday share with him. This is something I wish I did with my other kids, but I guess the third time is really is the charm. Here is my letter to Jax on his 3rd month birthday.

Dearest Jax,

You are smiling, laughing, and cooing all the time now. You love for me to put you in your chair and let you just watch your brother and sister play around you. I can't wait for you to be big enough to join in. So far, you are extremely laid back for being a third child (I was a 3rd child, so I should know). You only cry when you are hungry or need a diaper change. You eat every 3-4 hours, and have been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks. Although, I don't really count it because you are still in our room and mommy gets up every 3 hours or so to check on you or put your pacifier in your mouth. You still are not fond of tummy time, but you are getting stronger every day. Your hair is still dark brown, and you have yet to loose any of it (nor have you grown any....so you still have your receding hair line). We all love you to the moon and back and are so blessed that you joined our family.

F-E-A-R

One of the most amazing and wisest people that I know told me ' fear stands for False Evidence Apearing Real'. Fear has plagued my life for as far back as I can remember. If it wasn't one thing it was something else. I hated that I lived my life in constant fear, but I felt helpless to change it. There was a period of time before I became a mother where I felt so numb almost like I wasn't really living because I was so frozen with fear all the time.

I credit my wonderful husband with helping me to break down my fears and learn how to simply relax and enjoy life instead of always worrying. He lives his whole life without a single worry because he believes whole heartedly that whatever happens has a greater meaning. Worrying will not change the future, it will only hinder the present.

Recently, fear has creeped back into my home. It has wrapped its ugly hands around both my son and myself. Watching Hunter have to deal with some of the same fears that I dealt with as a young adult was excruciating to watch. I had to remind myself that his fear was a demon living inside his own mind. No matter what his dad and I did or told him to make him feel safe, he had to believe it deep down or none of our actions mattered. After weeks of trying EVERYTHING under the sun, our courageous son has learned to overcome his fear at nighttime. He has developed his own tools that have helped him face his fear head on.

I didn't realize it then, but maybe my son had to go through this trial so that he could move mountains inside my own heart when fear came back into my life. And so here I am.....fearful once again. No matter what I do or say, I can't help but fear so deeply for my own children's safety (especially our newest member). I know all moms go through a similar experience, but I am not sure how many can relate when I say that these thoughts and fears consume my mind 24/7. I know I am being vague, but I am doing so deliberately because giving a name to my fear is giving in and I know that my fears are False Evidence Apearing Real.

I challenge anyone reading this who can relate to pray along side me that we can take my 6 year old son's lead and face our fears head on. I pray that I can let go of my fears about what the future may hold because it truly is not in my control. I HAVE TO BELIEVE that God has a protective hand over my babies and that he will hold them close no matter what life throws at them. I pray that I can let go of this burden of fear and hold on to hope and thankgiving that God gave me these 3 beautiful children for a reason.

So for now, I will revel in the fact that my children are healthy and happy and I will strive to enjoy every second with them....tantrums and all:)

A lesson of thanks

Anyone that knows our story knows that both Paul and I would be lost had we not been given this little guy

...Hunter bear took us by surprise 6 1/2 years ago, and he continues to keep us on our toes. Hunter taught us that we are not in control of our life, and if we just believe than maybe His plan is sweeter and more beautiful than one we could ever have dreamed of.

Thank-you Hunter for giving your dad and I a reason to believe in love and all that is good in this life:)

Little Miss Fashionista

I absolutely love having a little girl. Besides being the most beautiful 19 month old and having the cutest personality ever....(I know I am a biased), one of the parts I enjoy most about being her mommy is getting to dress her. According to my mom, even at Kinley' age I was strong willed when it came to clothes. So I am counting my blessings that Kinley lets me experiment with different looks

And so here you have it.....the many looks of Kinley-Jane

The sporty/casual look

My little punk rocker

Beautiful Buggy